I’m a dad. My son is four and a half years old and he is one of the most well behaved and well mannered kids you’ll ever meet — and I’m serious about that. His teachers say that he is an absolute joy to have in their class. He’s kind and helpful to other people and constantly looking out for their welfare. When he’s upset he takes great care to explain the problem (“Daddy, I don’t like it when Johnny pulls my hair and that is why I don’t want to play with him tomorrow”) rather than throwing a typical tantrum. He’s quiet and (mostly) self controlled in public, whether in restaurants or when visiting people.
He’s also completely used to his mummy and daddy saying the occasional (or not-so-occasional) “naughty” word. He finds rude words amusing. Both his mummy and I are generally polite and refrain from swearing in polite conversation, however we haven’t sought to “protect” him from hearing certain words. Many people find some words cause them to experience strong negative emotions and we do not want our children to be raised – programmed – to respond with strong feelings of offense or upset because they heard a certain sound or saw an arrangement of letters.
Researchers at the University of Bristol determined that though verbal conditioning (a simple form of associating certain sounds with punishment) cause the sounds and letters that form rude words to be “directly associated with the emotional centres in the brain”. (Bowers, JS et al. 2011). The same applies to taboo words. Furthermore, the odd expletive can be psychologically helpful since we use them to help relieve pent-up feelings as well as to expand our vocabulary with additional emotional response. Timothy Jay (2009). Euphemisms (saying, “Damnit” instead of “Fuck”) had a similar, but reduced effect which begs the question as to why it could be considered socially acceptable to yell, “Ow!” instead of, “Damnit” and “Damnit” instead of “Fuck!”.
These ideas (or memes) are brainwashed into children (myself included) throughout childhood. The formula is this: Say a naughty word => receive punishment. The heavier the punishment, the stronger the neural pathways that cause strong emotions to be felt will be.
Swearing increases your pain threshold. (Richard S, et al. 2009). “Under certain conditions, swearing produces a hypoalgesic effect”. A simple test that demonstrates what we adults already probably know – if you take a bunch of college students and get them to put their hands into freezing cold water whilst simultaneously repeating either a neutral or a swear word, it is possible to withstand an extra 40 seconds of pain if repeating the swear word. Fuck me, that’s amazing. They did also respond that those who swear regularly received less pain relief than those who don’t. My tip is to choose your favourite profanity and when you next experience pain – shout it out as loudly as you can 
Consider if you are a native English speaker. You think in your mind in English. If you are religious, you probably pray inside your head in English and if you are schizophrenic you probably hear voices in your head in English too. Our language impacts our thinking and if people avoid thinking or talking about certain topics (pain avoidance behaviour) it will discourage the natural process of critical thought and learning. Ergo, being scared of certain words will make you stupid. Holy shit, that’s smart!
Going back to my son, I was driving with him to visit my mum and dad last week. In the car we played a game, it went something like this:
Son: Hey Daddy?
Me: Yes, bug?Son: You smell like a toilet!
at this point he is laughing hystericallyMe: Well…. *sounding stern*
…he’s looking worried now!
Me: …Well.. you smell like a toilet that hasn’t been flushed in days!
…he bursts out with infectious crackling laughterSon: You smell like a toilet that hasn’t been flushed in days with shit in it!
This time, *I’m* the one laughing hysterically.. just signalling to turn off into my parent’s road
Son: Now daddy. You know that you cannot use these words at nana and granddad’s house. Alright daddy? Alright? We better now be on our best behaviour and not say any naughty words.
References:
1. Bowers JS, Pleydell-Pearce CW (2011) Swearing, Euphemisms, and Linguistic Relativity. PLoS ONE 6(7): e22341. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0022341 ( http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0022341
2. Jay, T. (2009). The utility and ubiquity of taboo words. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 4(2), 153-161
3. Stephens, R., Atkins, J., & Kingston, A. (2009). Swearing as a response to pain. NeuroReport, 00, 00
Related posts:
